Inspirational 49 Year Old Med School Graduate

I am so proud of this dude, and I don't even know him.   I was totally pushing for him to get a good match, and boy did he it it home! He is truly an inspiration.

My Favorite Things & Dear Memories from my Past

So, besides naturopathy, some of my favorite things are science fiction sci-fi novels/movies/TV (especially dystopian and post apocalyptic stuff), 70s horror films, 70s sitcoms, PBS educational children's shows, ,ALL genres of music (especially '80s), and obviously, writing.

My favorite place to get my "sci-fi fix" is YouTube.  People post some really great stuff on there, and watching it has become somewhat of an addiction of mine as of late. I would much rather watch whats on YouTube than anything on television most nights of the week.

When I do watch TV, it is usually only a handful of shows such as PBS' "Nova" and "Downton Abbey," HGTV's "House Hunters, The Food Network's "Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives," and "Good Eats," reruns of "Law & Order: SVU" on TNT, and of course....."The Walking Dead" on AMC.

When I was a kid I absolutely loved TV shows like, and I would spend most of my weekends watching sci-fi anthology series like "The Twilight Zone," "The Night Gallery," "Tales From The Darkside," and "Ray Bradbury Theater."

My absolute favorites were the "Alfred Hitchcock Hour" and "Alfred Hitchcock Presents."  These shows bring back all kinds of good memories for me, because I used to watch them with my aunt Barbara when I was a kid.  My aunt Barbara is gone now, but I will never forget sitting in her den watching the master of suspense and being moderately scared, but totally entertained.

Then there was my grandmother on my mother's side, Jessie Mae Sanders (nee Lamar) was her name, but to me... she was my Grandma Jessie.  Oh, how I loved that woman. From the time I was about 5 until I was about 11 or 12, my weekend evenings were spent half listening to "grown folks talk" while she visited her neighbor across the street (Mrs. Morrison) and half watching "The Carol Burnett Show," "Sonny & Cher," "Sanford & Son," or "Maude."

My earliest memories are of my great grandmother, her name was Flora Mae Davis, but we all lovingly referred to her as Granny.  I was lucky enough to have my great grandmother in my life until I was about 14 years old, so I remember her well.  Every morning before I would go to school we would watch "Sesame Street" together, and when I came home we would watch "Mister Rogers Neighborhood" and "Zoom."

By the mid to end 70s, I had developed a love of Norman Lear comedies, Neil Simon plays, horror films, and science fiction, and I was way into music.  My television was constantly blaring "Good Times" and "The Jefferson's," my bedroom walls were decorated with pop stars, and I had trunks full of vinyl and cassettes (yeah, I'm that old folks...).

Then...enter the 80's, by then I was a fad loving teenager who watched endless hours of MTV (when their entire line-up was 24/7 music videos).  I even had a General Hospital comforter and bed-sheet/pillowcase set during the "Luke & Laura" craze.

When it came to music, I had everything from Michael Jackson, Duran Duran, and Boy George and The Culture Club to The Smiths, The Police, Journey and Run DMC.  If you were my friend and you ventured through my music collection, you would have also found Nat King Cole, Patsy Cline, The Scorpions, and Luciano Pavarotti co-mingling with Barbara Streisand, show-tunes and operatic performances led by greats such as Kathleen Battle and Maria Callas.  I can truly say, I really do love all musical genres.

YouTube is great because folks have posted hundreds of hours of episodes, films, and music videos that bring back many fond memories for me. I upload them to my iPhone/iPod and watch (mostly listen to) them on my hour long weekday walks and my 2 hour long weekend walks, and I am transformed back to my childhood and the people who colored it.

Are there TV shows, or songs, or smells that transport you to your past?  I truly hope so...

For now, sit back and enjoy one of my favorite episodes (This one totally freaked me out when I was a kid) from one of the series' directed by the Master of Suspense (Sir Alfred Hitchcock)

The Quest for a Healthier Lifestyle (aka "My Gastronomical Misadventures")

I totally believe that most of the ailments we have are a direct result of the stuff we put into our bodies, our levels of stress, and our general lack of exercise.

Now, let us not get it twisted, I am not one of these loonies who believes we can cure advanced stage cancer by eating veggies and ingesting roots and berries, but I firmly believe that people with diseases like cancer truly benefit from Naturopathic medicine along with allopathic/osteopathic medicine.

I also believe that there is sufficient evidence to document the fact that eating healthier, cutting out smoking, getting plenty of rest and exercise, and reducing one's stress level can all contribute to the prevention of diseases and ailments like cancer and diabetes, etc.

So, on my journey to become a naturopathic physician, I have decided to try my hardest to walk the walk....Meaning, I am trying to lead a healthier lifestyle.  I exercise everyday, I try to force myself to go to bed on a regular schedule at night (this is hard because I am that wild and crazy chick who can stay up and watch schlocky 70s sci-fi shows on Youtube until 3:45 am, and then be up and in class halfway across town by 8:00 a.m.).

I do not smoke, and I recently made a conscious decision (like, today...seriously) to remove myself from situations where people light up their cigareets....even if they are my friends.  And my life is pretty much on an even low-stress keep right now.  HOWEVER......... that "eating healthier" routine is proving to be a real challenge!

I am a die-hard foodie and I was raised in the south.  To me, breakfast is: eggs, grits with a hunk of block cheese and butter and a side of corned beef hash, toast drowned in melted butter, link sausages, breakfast sausages, bacon, a glass of whole milk, a cup of coffee loaded with some ridiculously sweet flavored creamer, and a small tumbler of orange juice.  And three hours later, I'm hungry again....I'm talking real stuff here folks.  

I can't help it, that is who I am.  However, it is my firm belief that the previously mentioned gastronomical delights is the kind of diet is what will put me in an early grave. So, I'm trying to walk the walk, but I keep slipping off the food path. 

One day last week, I did really well and I went to Whole Foods Market for most of the week and ate dinners that consisted of organic, and healthy foods like the following:

Asparagus & Broccoli (underneath), Succotash, Relish Items,
Pico De Gallo & BBQ Baked Organic Chicken Wings

I topped it all off with roasted garlic

I visited Whole Foods Market four nights out of the week last week, and I felt really good about the food choices I made.  But then....on Friday afternoon, I was in math class (a 4 hour class/lab) and I began to feel striking hunger pains

Someone suggested that I go and check out the grill on campus (I usually do not venture into the campus common areas - my "rah rah, sis boom ba!" days are over, so I go to class and go home), but I never ignore my stomach so, I was off to the grill in a matter of minutes.  When I got there, man was I in trouble, because what did I happen upon?  I happened upon a foot long hot dog!  

My mind screamed at me and it said "NO GIRL! Walk over to the cafeteria and get a nice green salad and a hefty plate of steamed veggies."  But as I headed toward the cafeteria to get to the salad bar, people passed by me with loaded foot long hot dogs.  

My mouth watered, I felt faint, and all I could think about was sinking my teeth into one of those 12 inch meat feasts....(keep your mind clean).  I faltered, I fell, I failed, and I wound up screwing up my week by adding this into the mix:

As You Can See, My Greedy Self Couldn't Even Wait
Long Enough To Pull Out My Iphone & Snap A Shot!
(Two Huge Bites are Already Gone)

To add salt to the wound, I paid approximately $8 for each meal at Whole Foods & I was still relatively hungry afterwards.  The foot long hot dog sells for a mere $1.25, and I almost could not eat it all - and if you knew me personally, you would know that I rarely come upon a food challenge that I cannot conquer.

All in all I guess its about a healthy balance.  Nutritionists suggest that we never outright deny ourselves of the foods we really want, we just have to consume them in moderation if they are not exactly healthy for us. 

I guess for now I will try to eat healthy meals throughout the week and I'll consider that hot dog my weekend splurge.  Sheesh!  Why couldn't it have been a veggie foot long hot dog that tasted so good?

I CAN do Math!

So, I started my math class today.  As you recall from my previous post, Me & Math We Meet To Do Battle Yet Again , me and math .... we don't really mix all that well.  However, I have been pleasantly surprised as of late.  Let me give you a little background information so you will understand the depth of how pleasant my surprise really is.

Middle School Math - The Monster Arrives

I was used to being the smart girl in class.  I barely studied, but yet I got mostly A's and some B's in science, social studies, history, and civics...but math was a whole "notha story.

I started slipping in math right around the time fractions entered the picture, and by the time they started pairing numbers with letters (algebra) I was hopelessly doomed.

I seriously believed that I was pushed along in all of my math classes, because all I remember was getting Fs - I felt like such a loser, because no matter how hard I tried, I could not grasp mathematical concepts.

High School Math - The Monster Slays Me

Algebra came along in the 10th grade and that is when I totally gave up.  First I started habitually skipping math class, then when I would have to pay the piper for skipping math class, I started skipping school.  The teachers would call my house...but I was there (skipping), so I answered the phone and pretended to be my mother and the school totally bought it (Ribault Sr. High - Jacksonville, FL).

Eventually, the school got around to sending letters to my home.  However, as you might have already guessed...I was there, so I simply threw the letters away and called in to pretend to be my mother.  I told them I could not make it to an person meeting because I worked all day long, but I was aware of and would talk to my daughter, Rachelle.... Oh the lies and deceptions...

Skipping school resulted in failing grades across the board, so I eventually decided to drop out.  A couple of years later I picked up a G.E.D. book, studied it, and crammed enough to pass the test in 1989, then in 1991  I decided that I would try my hand at college. I thought, "Maybe because I am older now, I will be more able to grasp math."

College Math - The Monster Exhumes My Body & Slays Me Again

I took a college entrance exam at Valencia Community College (Orlando, FL), and I scored well in everything except, you guessed it....MATH!  I was told I needed to take a 3 course (full year) remedial math sequence just to get me to the level of College Algebra.

The funny thing about college is this...you can pick and choose your classes.  Even though I really wanted to study biology, and chemistry, I thought I couldn't do it because the science majors classes all required the mastery of college algebra.  Soooooo...I decided to take a bunch of courses that were relatively easy and did not require my full effort in order to get good grades (psychology, non-majors biology, history, humanities, sociology, political science, anthropology, etc.).

I think I racked up about 53 college credits when I was barred from registration.  I was instead directed to my Adviser (whom I had totally avoided up until then) who told me that I could not take another class until I started my math sequence....

I was devastated, but I enrolled in the beginning level remedial math...totally knowing I could not hack it.  And you know what?  I dropped out about a month into the class.  I still didn't get it.

Lost Credits & Disabilities

I tried and failed at college one more time starting in 2005 (NDSCS & UND).  Actually, this time around the whole college thing was a bit devastating because I learned that I lost all 53 of the college credits I earned previously (10 years time limit baby...use 'em or lose 'em), so I had to start all over again!

I repeated the same mistake as before and I got pretty much the same result....(What do they say about the definition of insanity????)  But at least this time around, I learned about the reasons for my issues: Discalculia, ADHD, a visual learning disability that does not even have a name yet, Math Anxiety, and a physical disability called Task Specific Focal Dystonia (which basically means that I cannot write, but fortunately for me...I can type about 80 wpm)

I was armed with knowledge, but I dropped out again anyway...mostly because my daughter was having my grandson & a little because I thought my issues were insurmountable, and probably a lot because I hadn't found a career I was truly interested in.

Fast Forward to 2012

I'm back in college because I discovered Naturopathy, and I am psyched up enough about it to slay my math demons!  Currently, I am enrolled in an experimental math course that will allow me to complete my mandatory three semester remedial math requirements all in one course.

The course is self-paced and it has a web component and a class component.  The thing I really dig about the course is the fact that it offers video tutorials that provide step by step instruction whenever I need it.

And would you believe ..... that I am actually learning math?  I can hardly believe it myself, but I sit for hours with my laptop and complete problems that once made me teary eyed and frustrated to the point where I would throw my textbook against a wall!

I think maybe its a combination of the fact that I have an academic/career path in mind that I am actually passionate about, my knowledge of my learning disabilities and the assistance I receive from Student Disability Services, my current receptiveness to math (something I never had before), and my desire to graduate before I'm 50!

Whatever it is, I'm just glad something finally kicked in...I do not want to be the person who sits at 75 and says "I should have done....."

I really can do math, and if I can do it.....anyone can do it.  If you have Math Anxiety or even a math based learning disability, just know that you will have to work a lot harder at it than most, but you can do it!

MCAT or Not?

Admission to naturopathic medical school does not require one to take the MCAT for admission.  All of the usual medical school science prerequisites (Bio, Chem,Org Chem, Biochem, Phys) are required for entry, along with a bachelor's degree, but the MCAT is not a requirement.

I should probably be happy that the MCAT is not required, but I am on the fence about that one.  I am a person who tests well, and I will study like crazy (as evidenced by my LSAT adventure) if I know that I am expected to ace a comprehensive examination.  Even though it is not required, I think I will take the exam anyway, here's why:

I like the fact that the MCAT is designed to test approximately how much of the knowledge you have retained in core science courses. I like the feeling of accomplishment I get whenever I perform well on a test that measures how well I know my stuff.  A part of my desire to test well is the competitive spirit within me, and the other part is my feeling that ADHD-I is truly disabling to me. I need reassurance that I am actually mastering the necessary content to help me to, not just succeed, but excel in naturopathic medical school.

Although the reality of the exam is quite a way off into the distant future, I do believe I will challenge myself to retain as much knowledge as I can, so I can "strut my stuff" on the MCAT.  I will take that exam, even if only to prove to myself that I can do it.

Me & Math, We Meet to do Battle Yet Again!

Well, tomorrow is my first day in my math class.  I'm gonna get a full night's rest and walk into the classroom tomorrow with a positive attitude and a can-do spirit!

I feel that this is my last chance, and I have got to master mathematics or it will completely halt my future plans.

 It's me and you math, and this time I shall not give up so easily.

Why I Initially Chose to Opt Out of ADHD Meds

In the autumn of 2008, I was diagnosed with ADHD-I (Predominately Inattentive).  At the time I thought I wanted to go to law school, so I was studying for the LSAT.

Both my primary care physician and psychologist agreed that I should try Adderall. At first I objected, but then I later decided to take the medication just to see if it would enhance my ability to focus as I prepared for the LSAT.

They started me out with 15 mg of Adderall, and at first, I didn't notice any difference.  Shortly after, the chemical did it's thing and I noticed a HUGE difference.  In fact, the difference was almost overwhelming.

I first noticed the effect the medication was having on me when I was at the library one day.  In all of my life, I had NEVER been able to focus or concentrate on any one thing at a time.  I actually used to be jealous of people who had the ability to sit in a library and open up ONE book and concentrate on that ONE book.  I love libraries & I love books, but before Adderall, I used to grab six or seven different books, and read them all at once or else I would get bored.

I was nearly knocked over when I found myself staying focused on one book at a time.  It just "happened," I don't know exactly when, I just know that I was in tears when I realized that I had the ability to stay focused from one paragraph to another.

Pretty soon, I was reading entire chapters at a time without taking a break to dive into another book with a completely different subject.  I know this sounds odd to most people, but this was a GINORMOUS accomplishment for me.

I purchased the Powerscore LSAT Prep Study Guide (Get it if you wanna kick butt on the LSAT), and I totally inhaled it....but there was a problem. Finally having the ability to focus was amazing, but it seemed to go farther than just plain focusing, I began to seriously hyper-focus.

It was CaRaZy.  I remember studying for stretches of 12 hour straight, and my mind becoming mad at my body for needing sleep.  Eventually, my body would "take" the sleep it needed, and I would wake up and be totally disappointed in myself for falling asleep.  Even when I was sleeping, my mind wasn't really at rest.  I would have freaky dreams and wake up disjointed.  It was almost as though I could not  make my brain "power off."  Plus, I had this feeling of being "disconnected" all of the time.

I stopped taking the Adderall three or four days before the day of the exam.  I scored a 158 on the LSAT, and I KNOW I wouldn't have been able to perform nearly as well without the Adderall.  I would never have been able to concentrate on all those exercises that taught me how to master logic games.

Now, I wouldn't have tanked the exam without the drug, because despite my developmental disability, I'm relatively smart, but there is no way I would have scored a 158.

After the exam was over, I decided to discontinue using the Adderall.  I didn't like the side effects, I did not like the fact that it is a Schedule II Controlled Substance (high abuse potential), and I especially did not like the fact that the drug was so powerful it could actually "rearrange" my thought processes - When you think about it, that is pretty significant.

That was four years ago.  I have since decided law school was not the thing for me, and I have become consumed with naturopathic medicine.  Because I am planning to pursue a naturopathic physician degree, I know that I will need assistance in dealing with my lack of focus.

My current plan to try to tame my wild mind is to seek natural alternatives, consistent talk therapy, and diet changes, but ADHD is historically not a condition that has responded well to alternative treatments.

If all else fails, I will get back on the Adderall, and I will make certain to start with the lowest dosage possible and work my way up until I find a good fit....because feeling freaky really ain't all that fun.

 

My Academic Life Thus Far: Inattentiveness & Lack of Self Esteem

I have been in a state of constant lack of focus for most of my life. A few yeas ago, I was diagnosed with Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Inattentive-Type (ADHD-I).

 Translated into plain English, having ADHD-I means I have serious issues focusing and staying on task, I get bored at the drop of a dime, I procrastinate, I'm horrible at making final decisions, I am impulsive to the extreme, and I avoid activities that require me to pay a lot of attention.

When I was first diagnosed (2008) I felt as though a bright light switch had been turned on in a very dark room. The aforementioned issues have caused massive problems throughout my life, and gaining knowledge of an explanation was a marvelous thing.

 At the time I was diagnosed I was in college at the University of North Dakota. I was in undergraduate school working towards admission to law school. I never really wanted to be a lawyer, I had taken a couple of career aptitude tests that pointed me in that direction so I just decided to go with the flow.

 In my heart, I always wanted to study something within the professional health sciences field (medicine, epidemiology, public health, etc.), but I never believed I was smart enough -- let me give you some background on that: I dropped out of school in the ninth grade, not because I was pregnant or I needed to get a job and help out my family... I dropped out for the lame fact that I couldn't hack algebra... (I know, how pathetic is that?)

 I knew that chemistry and physics are math-based sciences,so I talked myself out of a biological science based career. I thought to myself "How in the world am I going to be able to pass a math based science class when I can barely master fractions?" So that was that. I was able to pass social science based classes with straight "A"s without having to do too much thinking (remember that lack of sustained attention aspect of ADHD-I?), so I just decided to go with the flow.

I chose law because it seemed challenging, and I figured I wouldn't get bored quite as easily as I would with just about everything else -- I was wrong. In the fall of 2008 I took the LSAT exam, and I performed well (158) with the help of Adderall (click here to read about Why I Initially Chose to Opt Out of ADHD Meds). I planned to apply to law school & begin in the fall of 2009.

While I was doing my pre-law routine, I obtained a paralegal diploma from an online school. My goal was to work full-time as a paralegal and pursue law school on a part time basis.  Did I mention that I was 41 years old at the time? Oh yeah, I decided to go to college when my kids were nearly finished with high school.  I had absolutely no desire, nor the luxury of time and youth, to go to law school without working

Fortunately, I spent a couple of months working as a paralegal in a law firm, and that was when I got an eyeful of what a lawyer actually does - man was it awful! I would have enjoyed law school much more than the job of being a lawyer, so I thought I might as well quit while I was ahead. I dropped out of school altogether and headed back to Florida (my home) to be closer to my family.

There I was... I had about 80 college credits, no degree, and no real passion for any career I thought I might be capable of enduring, so I kinda drifted for a while. Eventually, I moved to Arizona for work, and that was when I discovered naturopathic medicine began (read: How I Discovered Naturopathic Medicine).

Naturopathic medicine is the subject I have been most passionate about for as long as I have known me (roughly 43 years - give or take a couple of months).  Now that I have found my true passion, I have made the decision to return to college and pursue a degree as a naturopathic doctor (ND). However, there are several realistic issues I am going to have to deal with along the way:

1. I do not have a good track record of stick-to-it-iveness (have you been reading?)
2. The math thing is still an issue
3. The ADHD-I thing is still an issue (did you read Why I Initially Chose to Opt Out of ADHD Meds?)
4. I am 43 years old, and I'll be nearly 50 by the time I'm done

My solutions to the above issues are as follows:

1. I think I have finally found my true calling in naturopathic medicine. 
2. I am enrolled in a supportive math class & I am more receptive to learning because I am pumped to get into Naturopathic Medical school. 
3. I am exploring natural techniques to control my ADHD.  If the natural methods prove to be ineffective, I'm giving in, and I'll take the freaking Adderall and not worry about things that are beyond my control
4. I'm going to be 50 years old anyway, so why not be a happy and content 50 year old?

In the words of the immortal Betty Davis, "Fasten your seat-belts, it's going to be a bumpy night!"