I CAN do Math!

So, I started my math class today.  As you recall from my previous post, Me & Math We Meet To Do Battle Yet Again , me and math .... we don't really mix all that well.  However, I have been pleasantly surprised as of late.  Let me give you a little background information so you will understand the depth of how pleasant my surprise really is.

Middle School Math - The Monster Arrives

I was used to being the smart girl in class.  I barely studied, but yet I got mostly A's and some B's in science, social studies, history, and civics...but math was a whole "notha story.

I started slipping in math right around the time fractions entered the picture, and by the time they started pairing numbers with letters (algebra) I was hopelessly doomed.

I seriously believed that I was pushed along in all of my math classes, because all I remember was getting Fs - I felt like such a loser, because no matter how hard I tried, I could not grasp mathematical concepts.

High School Math - The Monster Slays Me

Algebra came along in the 10th grade and that is when I totally gave up.  First I started habitually skipping math class, then when I would have to pay the piper for skipping math class, I started skipping school.  The teachers would call my house...but I was there (skipping), so I answered the phone and pretended to be my mother and the school totally bought it (Ribault Sr. High - Jacksonville, FL).

Eventually, the school got around to sending letters to my home.  However, as you might have already guessed...I was there, so I simply threw the letters away and called in to pretend to be my mother.  I told them I could not make it to an person meeting because I worked all day long, but I was aware of and would talk to my daughter, Rachelle.... Oh the lies and deceptions...

Skipping school resulted in failing grades across the board, so I eventually decided to drop out.  A couple of years later I picked up a G.E.D. book, studied it, and crammed enough to pass the test in 1989, then in 1991  I decided that I would try my hand at college. I thought, "Maybe because I am older now, I will be more able to grasp math."

College Math - The Monster Exhumes My Body & Slays Me Again

I took a college entrance exam at Valencia Community College (Orlando, FL), and I scored well in everything except, you guessed it....MATH!  I was told I needed to take a 3 course (full year) remedial math sequence just to get me to the level of College Algebra.

The funny thing about college is this...you can pick and choose your classes.  Even though I really wanted to study biology, and chemistry, I thought I couldn't do it because the science majors classes all required the mastery of college algebra.  Soooooo...I decided to take a bunch of courses that were relatively easy and did not require my full effort in order to get good grades (psychology, non-majors biology, history, humanities, sociology, political science, anthropology, etc.).

I think I racked up about 53 college credits when I was barred from registration.  I was instead directed to my Adviser (whom I had totally avoided up until then) who told me that I could not take another class until I started my math sequence....

I was devastated, but I enrolled in the beginning level remedial math...totally knowing I could not hack it.  And you know what?  I dropped out about a month into the class.  I still didn't get it.

Lost Credits & Disabilities

I tried and failed at college one more time starting in 2005 (NDSCS & UND).  Actually, this time around the whole college thing was a bit devastating because I learned that I lost all 53 of the college credits I earned previously (10 years time limit baby...use 'em or lose 'em), so I had to start all over again!

I repeated the same mistake as before and I got pretty much the same result....(What do they say about the definition of insanity????)  But at least this time around, I learned about the reasons for my issues: Discalculia, ADHD, a visual learning disability that does not even have a name yet, Math Anxiety, and a physical disability called Task Specific Focal Dystonia (which basically means that I cannot write, but fortunately for me...I can type about 80 wpm)

I was armed with knowledge, but I dropped out again anyway...mostly because my daughter was having my grandson & a little because I thought my issues were insurmountable, and probably a lot because I hadn't found a career I was truly interested in.

Fast Forward to 2012

I'm back in college because I discovered Naturopathy, and I am psyched up enough about it to slay my math demons!  Currently, I am enrolled in an experimental math course that will allow me to complete my mandatory three semester remedial math requirements all in one course.

The course is self-paced and it has a web component and a class component.  The thing I really dig about the course is the fact that it offers video tutorials that provide step by step instruction whenever I need it.

And would you believe ..... that I am actually learning math?  I can hardly believe it myself, but I sit for hours with my laptop and complete problems that once made me teary eyed and frustrated to the point where I would throw my textbook against a wall!

I think maybe its a combination of the fact that I have an academic/career path in mind that I am actually passionate about, my knowledge of my learning disabilities and the assistance I receive from Student Disability Services, my current receptiveness to math (something I never had before), and my desire to graduate before I'm 50!

Whatever it is, I'm just glad something finally kicked in...I do not want to be the person who sits at 75 and says "I should have done....."

I really can do math, and if I can do it.....anyone can do it.  If you have Math Anxiety or even a math based learning disability, just know that you will have to work a lot harder at it than most, but you can do it!